Still Learning

Before this week I’ve heard the term “doing the work” bandied about and I never really understood it. Or maybe I just disregarded it because it made me uncomfortable or because I didn’t think it applied since I’m not white. I’m also pretty sure I never did the work because I never had a child. But now that my views and biases will get passed down to her, now it definitely matters. Regardless I’m ashamed to say that it has taken me this long to finally sit with the discomfort and face my role in all this. By not speaking up, I am that Asian police officer in the group that killed George Floyd (and thank goodness he was there because then the Asian American community can no longer excuse their silence). But better late than never? I hope so.

Though I grew up in Hawaii where there are less racial tensions and a lot more hapas (half White/half Asian), there is still racism towards Black people (called Popolo in Hawaii slang—next time you hear that in Hawaii, know that it’s a derogatory word). There are so few Black people who grow up on the islands (most are tourists or military) that I’m sure many locals don’t view anti-Black racism as their problem. The racism is there but never addressed. It’s racism behind closed doors, and it’s just as pervasive and dangerous as overt racism because we’re passing it down from generation to generation. That’s why I need to do the work. Because the buck stops here.

I’m sorry for all the times I laughed at racists jokes, where I encouraged that behavior in others. I’m deeply ashamed that I’ve made a few racist jokes myself in the past. I’m ashamed to say I only started following BIPOC influencers last year (and I’m ashamed to say I excused myself for not doing so earlier because I thought I had a different kind of style than most black influencers—so not true and so ignorant). I’m guilty of thinking that since I’m not white and have faced discrimination that I don’t have to do anything. This is me just beginning to come to terms with my errors. I’ll probably keep making mistakes along my path to becoming an ally—I’ll admit I don’t think I’m there yet. But I’m going to keep trying.

I’m still continuing to learn all the ways I can do better, and every person has their own work to do. As for me, I’m committing to reading the anti-racists books from my last post and continuing to learn. I’m going to use my small platform here to promote BIPOC brands (I’m sorry to say I just started doing so with my TwoDaysOff Clothing review). I’ll also continue to donate to BLM and other anti-racist organizations. I understand this is the least I can do right now. But I promise, I’ll continue working, listening, and learning.

Listening and Learning

Hi guys, so I decided to take a break from posting this week because reviews feel so irrelevant right now. There’s no need to add a distraction when we should all focus on doing the important work of confronting racism in our own thinking, of recognizing our non-black privilege, and taking steps towards making a better world through our actions. There are a flood of resources on Instagram right now, but if you’re not on that platform here are some of what I learned this week:

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From Temi here.

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Homework, via

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And where to donate (also add to this list NAACP legal defense fund)

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And yes to some this may look like I’m jumping on a bandwagon since I’ve never posted BLM material before. So I apologize that it took me so long to get here, but I’m working on doing better. I guess you can say I’m finally “woke”?

Weekend Update/Ramblings

What a world we live in right now. I’ve been mostly quiet on social media because I didn’t want to post a George Floyd tribute and then post an outfit photo or something equally as frivolous right after. But at the same time I don’t want people to mistake my silence as complicity. I donated some money but I need more time to continue to process everything. This New York Times parenting article also made my heart hurt: imagine having to move to another country to ensure the safety of your child and to give your child a fighting chance. Faced with the same dilemma, I would probably do the same (of course it’s a privilege to make this choice, a privilege that many don’t have.)

In other news we’ve broken quarantine. We now have a quarantine crew (or corona crew?) that we hang out on the weekends. It’s with several other families with small children that Emi can play with. I think it does her really good to hang out with kids her age and older since she’s learning from them. She is also way more social than I am and can’t seem to get enough of new people (I feel bad that she only sees my husband and myself day in and day out). I do worry about the increased chance of getting ill but since we don’t see any vulnerable people, I’m taking the risk so that Emi can get some socialization. Anyways everyone has to consider their own level of risk that their comfortable with and so far we are ok with this. Thanks to Allison for pointing me to this Emily Oster (the author of one of my fave baby books, Cribsheets) post about assessing your own risk tolerance level.

Anyway I wish you all love and care this week. Please take care of yourself out there!

What I Bought and Sold in May

What I Bought

After seeing this Sezane puffy sleeve embroidered top on Erica (insta: ahistoryofarchitecture), I decided to finally try out Sezane. I’ve thought about trying out their stuff before but nothing quite compelled me like this frilly blouse lol. I absolutely love it (I’ve been wearing it for the #may30x30 challenge over on Insta).

I technically bought this in April but I forgot to add it to my list so I’ll add it here: this gorgeous Heinui dress. This purchase was also instigated from Erica lol. I had never heard of Heinui before, but it’s a small slow fashion brand run by a French woman in Barcelona. All her dresses are made to order using custom printed fabrics. I just got this dress and guys, it’s goooorgeous! It’s like Elizabeth Suzann quality but with unique styling and color!

Several plants and planters from Leafy, a Bay Area plant company. And two more plants form California Tropicals (pictured above after repotting) because I’m now an impulse plant shopper (which isn’t a bad thing since it definitely does less damage than being an impulse purse shopper lol).

A reader here talked about Loq shoes after reading my St. Agni post. I immediately went down a Loq rabit hole (which consisted of checking out their website, looking for reviews, and then scoping out eBay and the RealReal). I ended up purchasing these Carmen mules from the website since it was on super sale. I say for the mules you can go with your true size (in this case it’s a 38 for me), though I think in general their sizing runs a tad small. I would probably go for a 39 in most other styles. {And while searching for the link above, I saw them on super sale here at Nordstrom Rack if you’re interested.}

And speaking of the RealReal, when I went to scope them out I reignited my TRR addiction (plus I also had about $200 in left over credit burning a hole in my pocket lol). I purchased a couple things from them including another Ulla Johnson top ($58 for 100% silk!), and things from new-to-me brands Horses Atelier and Cecilie Copenhagen.

I’ve been wanting a nap dress for awhile (not really to nap in, but just one of those loose and easy dresses you could nap in). Anyway it was love at first site with this dress from Ichi Antiquities (another brand I’ve heard a lot about but had yet to try). I’m hoping I won’t be disappointed!

What I Was Gifted

So technically this was gifted by my husband and I’m not sure it would fall under this category, but since I didn’t purchase it it’s a gift right? Anyway as a Mother’s Day gift, he purchased a pink anthurium and two plant pots from Shop Pigment (as requested by me lol). As for gifts from brands this month: nada.

What I’m Selling/Sold

Sorry my blog closet sale is a little slow going. Since all of that is going to charity, I’m selling my more high ticket items to replenish my blog spending account over at my Instagram account (they’re saved under the “Closet Sale” highlights).

Weekday Update/Ramblings

Hi guys, how are you all doing? Fine I hope. Are we all adjusted to the new normal yet? Things might be opening up again in your state, and what does that feel like? For us in California, things are still shut down (though some counties are starting to loosen restrictions). As for myself, I’m venturing out more (but always with a mask of course). I went to the Farmer’s Market for the first time since the pandemic started. I went right when it opened and there were already lines to get into stalls (since they only let in a few at a time). Lines at Farmers Markets make it decidedly less fun, though of course they’re needed for safety. I just went in to grab some veggies and fruits and got outta there in 20 minutes. I’ve also started going to Target, which is sooooo nice after not going for so long. It’s great to be able to get some nonessentials in person for once! They also limit the number of people going in and it feels pretty spacious in there.

Anyways as things go back to a new normal, I think it’s okay to not live in fear and do things you enjoy (even if it means a slightly elevated risk from being out and about). Of course, if you live with someone who is vulnerable to the virus then it’s a different story. But I think for the most part, we’re all going to have to get used to living with the virus. We’re just going to have to have new routines: face masks, 6 feet part physical distancing, no gatherings indoor with non family members, and of course washing your hands and not touching your face. I found this post by a Univ of Mass professor about the risks to corona exposure to be both reassuring and informative.

And this week my blog posting schedule will be a tad different. There’ll be a post tomorrow and Thursday about bags. Both were written in January during pre-corona times. But I had pushed them back for one reason or another and then once corona hit, it seemed gauche to post them. But I’m running out of new posts and so decided to lump them here this week. TBH I’m more into plants than purses right now (purchased 10 plants in the last several months but my last bag purchase was in 2019). I don’t know where you are in your purse passion right now, but if you’re interested in buying secondhand bags, and especially secondhand Celine bags, then this week is for you. If not, please just skip this week and I’ll see you again next week!

Weekday Update/Ramblings

My two new plant babies delivered last week from CaliforniaTropicals (via etsy)

This week has been a nice change of pace. I’m finally feeling a tad more productive starting this week because my husband and I finally hammered out a childcare schedule. Seriously, I don’t know what took us so long. This whole time we were divvying it up willy nilly and I ended up taking a lot of the “shifts” since my schedule is more flexible. But that meant I’ve been neglecting the blog and other work. Now that we have a formal schedule, I can count on the time to be productive and I’ve been feeling great. This coronavirus thing is going to be a marathon (ie getting back to “how it was” is going to be a long time from now—until the world makes a vaccine). So figuring out how to make it work as it stands now is key. I hope you guys are also getting more of a routine to things.

I enjoyed this piece from the NYT about JOLGO (the joy of letting go). Here’s the part I liked the best:

Still, I had to wonder: With few beauty tools at hand, and no pressing reason to get gussied up, would I work more efficiently, reflect more profoundly and get in touch with my authentic self?

Femininity, it’s been noted, is a performance (as transgender women know all too intimately). Would functioning without an audience make hash of our self-image? Would it undermine the foundations of our identity? Or would it free us to divert our energies in loftier directions? Who knows?

What I have learned during this interval is that it can be liberating, even enlightening, to sign on with a sisterhood — people of varying ages, racial and social backgrounds, professions, and styles, openly engaging in a little self-neglect. We may be reminded of Germaine Greer, who famously said: “If a woman never lets herself go, how will she ever know how far she might have got? If she never takes off her high-heeled shoes, how will she ever know how far she could walk or how fast she could run?”

For years, outrageous social media displays have aggravated FOMO, the Fear of Missing Out. Now we can revel in the Joy of Letting Go, technically JOLGO, but, amalgamated with You Only Live Once: JOLO!

I guess I’m still getting dressed for Insta shots (especially now that there’s the #May30x30 challenge that I’m participating in). For those shots I’ll sometimes wear eyeliner and lip gloss (my Kosas lip oil since it’s also a lip treatment and I love it). But I’ve pretty much stopped wearing any kind of foundation altogether. This is a big deal for me because I’ve been wearing foundation since middle school due to really bad skin. Now I just wear sunscreen when going out, especially since a mask covers my face anyway. What things have you let go of? I’m also keeping it bra-optional these days lol.

What I Bought and Sold in April

What I Bought

Isolation Creation posters from Jamiebeck.co

Apiece Apart jumpsuit from Slowre (which I’m wearing in the picture above)

Mate and Label Vintage Pullovers (two) from theonlinebarn.com (a California boutique): After writing my Mate review and wearing the same sweatshirt for days on end, I decided to let myself buy two more (of different colors) from theonlinebarn (the pricing was really good for brand new Mate sweatshirts).

Gabriel-glas wine glasses and a Vinebox wine club membership (early Mother’s day present to myself): I’ve been trying to buy less wine these days (since I already buy so much on my grocery runs every 10 days). But getting wine delivered to your door seems like such a treat—the perfect indulgence for Mother’s Day. And well after doing some research (here and here), I decided to upgrade my wine-tasting glass to the Gabriel glas. I love it! It feels like I’m doing a fancy wine tasting in Napa but in the comfort of my own home lol. I’ve already tried out both the glasses and the wine club and will do a full review soon.

Twodaysoff Haruko dress: Every year I try out a new-to-me slow fashion brand when looking for a spring/summer dress. This year I wanted to try something from TwoDaysOff. This is a small brand out of LA, founded by Gina (who’ve I been a fan of for a long time now).

Gigi Pip Aiden Straw Hat: Since I’ve been wearing my other straw hats more frequently while gardening and taking strolls around our neighborhood, I decided to treat myself to a very reasonably priced one at Gigi Pip (founded by a husband and wife duo). I’ve heard great things about their hats and can’t wait to try it out!

A house plant from Bloomscape: I’ve been itching for another house plant to add to my collection, and even though I’ve been admiring The Sill I can’t quite bring myself to spend that kind of money. But I found the prices of plant+pot to be super reasonable at Bloomscape!

After my Bloomscape purchase, I was on a house plant hunt and found both a Monstera and Fiddle Leaf Fig plant for the best prices from Etsy seller CaliforniaTropicals (about $20 for each and free shipping). They arrived well packaged and within a week (but I’m in Cali so I’m sure that’s why). These plants are still babies but look healthy!

St. Agni Ciao Woven Mules: While writing a review of two St. Agni loafers (coming right after this post, next week), I did some internet searching and happened upon these Ciao mules selling for a reaaaallly good price at Bloomingdales (on sale + a promo stacked meant 50% off). Since I also had a $100 giftcard to Bloomies, it only made sense to get them lol.

What I Returned

Nothing. This is not the time for returns. I’m making sure I’m very certain before I purchase anything and even if something is not 100% how I like it, I deal with it. Because now is not the time for frivolous returns (I feel guilty enough for the shipping when I buy it lol).

What I was Gifted

Mejuri Twist ring: Very lucky to get asked to do another Insta collaboration and I chose this simple ring.

Mapiful map: I was asked for a Insta collab out of the blue for their Mother’s Day promo and since I’m in dire need of artwork plus my family love maps, it was a no brainer.

What I’m Selling/Sold

As I mentioned before, I started selling more items of clothing on my Closet Sale page (all proceeds to be donated). I’m starting to let go of my less-worn Everlane, Grana, and PACT items.

Mother's Day Gift Guide

My mother’s day collab pic for Mapiful from Insta

I’m getting this gift guide out a tad early, but hopefully early enough to take into account coronavirus shipping delays (Mother’s Day is May 10th). Since this is a unique Mother’s Day where unfortunately some of us older daughters won’t be able to spend it with our mothers, ordering a thoughtful gift might be the best we can do (along with a lengthy FaceTime/call of course). Anyway here are some ideas (some of these are affiliate links, most are not—but thanks again for your support of this blog if you purchase through my links!):

Jewelry from Etsy: Last year for my first Mother’s Day I asked my husband for a piece of sentimental jewelry so I’ll forever remember the day. He got me this pink sapphire eternity band from Etsy seller NanaBijou and I love it. Everytime I wear it, I think of my first Mother’s Day and the feeling of being a new mom. I also wrote a guide on purchasing vintage/used jewelry from Etsy. Getting jewelry used is not only great for the environment but I also love that feeling of wearing a unique and well-loved piece.

Zero waste gifts from The Good Fill: I reviewed The Good Fill here. If you’re looking to help change your mom’s way to a more zero-waste lifestyle, this is a great way to subtly nudge her in the right direction.

Vinebox subscription or one time box: For the mother who doesn’t need any physical item, something that can be consumed might be best. And for the mother that drinks alcohol, a Vinebox subscription is a pretty fun gift! Each box comes with 9 glass pours bottled in individual vials. It’s a great way to taste wines from all over the world, without committing to a whole bottle. I’ll be doing a full review of this soon, but let’s just say I’ve been really enjoying my box. I purchased a subscription as a mother’s day gift for myself lol.

Cookie or bread starter box from Mr. Holmes Bakehouse: For the mother that doesn’t drink, maybe a baking kit like a bread starter box from the famous Mr. Holmes Bakehouse in LA is right up her alley. I’m tempted to get one of these for myself as well, but I’m holding off since I’m eating more than enough baked goods as it is >.<

CSA/Fresh Fruit and Veggie delivery subscription: If your mom is a practical one, then maybe getting some fresh fruits and veggies delivered to her door would be the perfect Mother’s Day gift. Fresh food is a real blessing these days (I love cooking the days right after a grocery run). And it would also mean she wouldn’t have to go out as often for grocery runs. And if you’re even more sustainability-minded, a subscription to Imperfect Produce or Misfit Market might be an even better option.

For the mom that might be a little bored at home, maybe a Netflix/Hulu/HBONow/Acorn subscription might be a fun present. Or pay for an Apple News subscription—my husband just signed up and shared it to me this past week and I love it! There are a plethora of news and magazine publications offered and I think it’s definitely worth the $10 a month.

And if all else fails, there’s always flowers! Though I think a potted plant from either Bloomscape (<— a referral link to get you $15 off your first purchase of $50+; I just purchased from them and will review soon) or The Sill (super nice but also super expensive) would make for a more sustainable option. Plus it’s the gift that’ll keep on giving (especially when sheltering in place)!

Weekend Update/Ramblings

I gotta stop writing those “silver lining” posts. Everytime I do, I feel like something bad happens (I talk about the Japanese word “bachi” here). Anyway this time, Emi (who’s just learning to walk) fell back and hit her head on the wooden corner of a Lovevery toy (which I will update with a warning). I’m usually very careful of leaving the toy on a table where she can’t fall on it, but unfortunately it was on the ground and she smacked her head on it. When she wouldn’t stop crying no matter what we tried, we decided to call the Kaiser nurse advice line. And they told us to go to the hospital. I mean normally it would be no big deal but going to the hospital during coronavirus?! My anxiety level had never been higher. Luckily it was a visit to the minor injury clinic where there were minimal patients (no major crowds of sick people thank goodness) and everyone was taking extra precautions. Also we’re very lucky that Emi is fine and the doctor said there should be no lasting damage. Anyway that incident really colored my week and I had been feeling a bit out of sorts.

In other news, I recently purchased a pulse oximeter from Amazon after reading this New York Times article. But if you don’t want to read the whole article, here’s the excerpts I found most useful:

A vast majority of Covid pneumonia patients I met had remarkably low oxygen saturations at triage — seemingly incompatible with life — but they were using their cellphones as we put them on monitors. Although breathing fast, they had relatively minimal apparent distress, despite dangerously low oxygen levels and terrible pneumonia on chest X-rays.

We are only just beginning to understand why this is so. The coronavirus attacks lung cells that make surfactant. This substance helps the air sacs in the lungs stay open between breaths and is critical to normal lung function. As the inflammation from Covid pneumonia starts, it causes the air sacs to collapse, and oxygen levels fall. Yet the lungs initially remain “compliant,” not yet stiff or heavy with fluid. This means patients can still expel carbon dioxide — and without a buildup of carbon dioxide, patients do not feel short of breath.

Patients compensate for the low oxygen in their blood by breathing faster and deeper — and this happens without their realizing it. This silent hypoxia, and the patient’s physiological response to it, causes even more inflammation and more air sacs to collapse, and the pneumonia worsens until oxygen levels plummet. In effect, patients are injuring their own lungs by breathing harder and harder. Twenty percent of Covid pneumonia patients then go on to a second and deadlier phase of lung injury. Fluid builds up and the lungs become stiff, carbon dioxide rises, and patients develop acute respiratory failure.

By the time patients have noticeable trouble breathing and present to the hospital with dangerously low oxygen levels, many will ultimately require a ventilator.

Silent hypoxia progressing rapidly to respiratory failure explains cases of Covid-19 patients dying suddenly after not feeling short of breath. (It appears that most Covid-19 patients experience relatively mild symptoms and get over the illness in a week or two without treatment.)

A major reason this pandemic is straining our health system is the alarming severity of lung injury patients have when they arrive in emergency rooms. Covid-19 overwhelmingly kills through the lungs. And because so many patients are not going to the hospital until their pneumonia is already well advanced, many wind up on ventilators, causing shortages of the machines. And once on ventilators, many die.

And he goes on to say:

There is a way we could identify more patients who have Covid pneumonia sooner and treat them more effectively — and it would not require waiting for a coronavirus test at a hospital or doctor’s office. It requires detecting silent hypoxia early through a common medical device that can be purchased without a prescription at most pharmacies: a pulse oximeter.

Pulse oximetry is no more complicated than using a thermometer. These small devices turn on with one button and are placed on a fingertip. In a few seconds, two numbers are displayed: oxygen saturation and pulse rate. Pulse oximeters are extremely reliable in detecting oxygenation problems and elevated heart rates.

Pulse oximeters helped save the lives of two emergency physicians I know, alerting them early on to the need for treatment. When they noticed their oxygen levels declining, both went to the hospital and recovered (though one waited longer and required more treatment). Detection of hypoxia, early treatment and close monitoring apparently also worked for Boris Johnson, the British prime minister.

So if it’s going to be a matter of when many people will get Covid-19 (especially if it persists for another year until a vaccine can be made), I wanted to be equipped with this simple and possibly life-saving device. Amazon has quite a few available for now, though this one was the cheapest that looked reliable. Even if I don’t use it myself, I could send it to my mom or whoever might get sick in my circle of friends and family. Or maybe it’s more like a safety blanket that makes me feel I’m better prepared, but for $36 I’ll take it!

Weekend Update/Ramblings

Hi guys, how are you all doing these days? We’re settled into our new normal and things are...going. Even though I’m not really a “Burner” per say, I sometimes think of this time as Burning Man 2020 (the real event has been cancelled for this year though). I’ve been to BM a couple times and have had a blast (even though I’m not the typical Burner and I went there in a somewhat work capacity—I wrote about it here). Burners sometimes refer to everyday normal life as the “default world” and well, we are no longer in the default world here, which then means we’re in an alternate Burner reality (complete with fask masks!). Now we just all need to wear crazy costumes and refer to each other by our “Playa” names (I guess our quarantine names).

I know this will probably sound annoying but I keep finding the silver linings in this pandemic like: 1) I started running again, 2) It has made me focus on my consumption priorities, 3) I reached out to friends I hadn’t spoken to in months/years, 4) It has made me appreciate friends and family more, 5) It has made me look at my finances more seriously, 6) It has made me a better baker and cook, 7) It has made me a better neighbor. It has also helped the environment by cutting air pollution in most cities, reducing our use of oil and energy, and reducing crime. I could keep going but I’m sure it would annoy the heck out of you. And I realize I have a lot of privilege in being able to revel in the silver linings, since I have no personal/health/economic disasters in my life. So I’m super grateful for that. And I definitely want to do what I can to help others who might not be as lucky. So I’m currently working to build up my closet sale page where all proceeds are donated to the Frontline Workers Relief fund (though I wonder if that’s the best organization to donate to right now—do you guys have suggestions for other Covid-related funds to donate to?). I’m starting to add some old Everlane items and will add Grana and Pact items soon.