Weekend Update/ Ramblings

Trying to find yourself through things doesn’t work: The ego satisfaction is short-lived and so you keep looking for more, keep buying, keep consuming…We cannot really honor things if we use them as a means to self-enhancement, that is to say, if we try to find ourselves through them. That is exactly what the ego does. Ego-identification with things creates attachment to things, obsession with things, which in turn creates our consumer society and economic structures where the only measure of progress is always more. The unchecked striving for more, for endless growth is a dysfunction and a disease…When you can no longer feel the life that you are, you are likely to try to fill up your life with things. As a spiritual practice I suggest you investigate your relationship with the world of things through self-observation, and in particular, things that are designated with the word ‘my.’ You need to be alert and honest to find out, for example, whether your sense of self-worth is bound up with things you possess…Is it wrong to be proud of one’s possessions or to feel resentful toward people who have more than you? Not at all. That sense of pride, of needing to stand out, the apparent enhancement of one’s self through ‘more than’ and diminishment through ‘less than’ is neither right nor wrong—it is the ego. The ego isn’t wrong, it’s just unconscious. When you observe the ego in yourself, you are beginning to go beyond it. Don’t take the ego seriously…Above all, know that the ego isn’t personal. It isn’t who you are.

I never thought I’d be an Eckhart Tolle kind of reader much less quote his book (A New Earth) publicly, but there you have it. Guess a person who’s education was based in science (Microbiology then Epidemiology) can still understand and buy into the fluffy world of new age spiritualism. But there’s just something about this book that makes sense to me (though I did get a great introduction to meditation and secular spirituality through my favorite book 10% Happier. I definitely could not have jumped straight into this book without some kind of introduction to the “monkey mind”, or what Mr. Tolle calls the ego here). Anyway with this book I’m beginning to see that I’ve wrapped up a lot of my self-worth through things and money, and really it’s only been feeding an always-unsatisfied ego. Recently, I’ve felt like I needed to cut back on my consumption, and that more things were in fact making me more unhappy (thus my new rule of no more free gifted items for semi-sponsored posts on this blog). For most of 2018 I viewed reviewing more things as a way of growing this blog to an even greater readership. But then again, why do I want to grow this blog? To feed the ego even more? No the whole point of this blog is because I really enjoy writing and communicating with all those I’m lucky enough to count on as readers. Also I love sharing my ideas in a mostly one way manner lol.

Anyway instead of trying to make more money/buy more stuff I’ve decided to take a different route. Yes, I’m sticking to my resolution of letting myself get one new item a month (which I’m sure I’ll be reviewing here), but I’m also going to be focusing on FIRE (Financial Independence, Retire Early). Have you heard of this movement? I just learned about it through this NYT article and my husband and I are obsessed. We definitely want to make our money work for us so that we can stop working just for the money sooner. We’re still newbies in the subject but we’re going to start tracking our expenses and putting our extra capital into investments. I also recently just finished reading Your Money or Your Life where they describe a Crossover Point where your monthly expenses meet or are below your monthly investment income. Sounds impossible I know, but we’re going to try (our crossover point will probably be over a decade from now, but even then retirement at 45-50 doesn’t sound so shabby). Or once we’re comfortable, we might try Barista Fire and I’d love to work part-time in ethical fashion.

Anyway I don’t really foresee this blog to turn into a financial blog but I will probably be talking about our journey towards FIRE and trying to make better choices about money. Probably most of it will be contained in my weekly updates but who knows how obsessed I get with this topic? Just curious though, would this be of interest to you guys?

Resolutions: How'd I do in 2018 and what's planned for 2019

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So if you’re a long time reader, you know I looooove love love New Year’s Resolutions. I know I can’t always keep them (I’m looking at you shopping ban resolution of 2017) but I always try. Plus it makes the new year feel so much more fresh and promising when I have some resolutions. So here’s a brief recap of how I did this past year and what I want to try out for the new year.

My 2018 Resolutions (linked to the original post)

1) Working Out: I was doing really well and was working out even during my first trimester (ok quite sporadically but I was trying). But when I started to get bleeding incidents during my pregnancy (so far 5 incidents, please let it be only 5) I stopped cold turkey. I just didn’t want to put that stress on my body, plus I wasn’t gaining a crazy amount of weight anyway. Next year I don’t plan to put this on the agenda. I’ll work out if I feel like it but I know I’m going to be crazy busy with the baby and don’t want to pressure myself to adding workouts to my schedule.

2) Stop binge drinking: Nailed it! Who knew I just had to get pregnant, lol. Also this is the first times in my life where I’ve been stone cold sober at parties where everyone else is drinking. And let me just say 1) it’s quite boring and 2) drunk people are extra obnoxious when you’re sober (but so much fun when you’re drunk with them)—I don’t know how sober people do it.

3) Shop ethically: Almost nailed it. Slipped up once and bought two things at Zara on vacation back in May. Both items are already no longer in my closet—I sold it to Crossroads. But this was a lesson learned and I think the nail in the coffin for shopping fast fashion. Haven’t purchased from any fast fashion stores since nor have I had the urge to do so.

4) Zero Waste Lifestyle Makeover: Needs work. I got some things down like remembering to bring reusable bags to the grocery store and using only reusable cotton pads for my face products. But I’m nowhere near where I want to be. As much as I would like to be the role model for zero waste, I don’t want to add that pressure during the first year of the baby so I’m going to skip this resolution this year and will try again in 2020.

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2019 Resolution

Ok, so I only really have one goal next year: to survive and thrive during the first year of motherhood, lol. But if I were to add one more thing on the list, it’s to be better with my money. In 2018, I added a lot of things to my closet, splurged on a lot of things and did not keep track of my money at all. Now that I have to think of baby’s future, I know I need to be better with my money. I would love to track my spending but don’t want to add that stress next year (I’ll try but we’ll see). But one thing I can do is to buy less items for my closet and control my spending when it comes to this blog. So here’s my one resolution for 2019:

1) Only add one item to my closet per month. Here’s the plan: I’m going to write a list of all the things I want during the month and only allow myself to buy 1 item off that list at the end of the month. This will also include items I get on credit (so probably less Everlane reviews next year, but really with the baby am I going to have the time anyway?). This way I hope to add only 12 items to my closet next year. Do you think I can do it? It seems ambitious to me but I’m going to try!

What are some of your resolutions for 2019? I would love to hear!

My Top Worn Items of 2018

So after a year of using the Stylebook App and keeping track of all the clothes I’ve worn in 2018, what were my top worn items? I did quarterly reports (quarter 1, quarter 2 and quarter 3), but it’s so nice to see the big picture now; to be able to reflect on my year-long wear count! As you can see, most of the items in my top 20 are either bags, shoes, or pants. I didn’t keep track of the tees and instead regarded them as a kind of undergarment. The only tops that got recorded in the app were special blouses or tops. So here are my top 20 worn items of my closet in 2018:

1) Everlane Day Market Tote: Reviewed here and a 100 wears later post here. My top used bag because it’s both my work and travel bag. Current cost per wear on this is $1.52.

2) Everlane Street Sandal (no longer sold): I reviewed them here and also talked about them here in my Lowest Cost Per Everlane 2017 post. These are actually my second pair of these shoes (I purchased 2 back-ups when they went on Choose What You Pay Sale). My love for these are still going strong and I think this pair will last me another season.

3) Celine Soft Cube Bag: Reviewed here. This is actually the newest addition to my Celine collection, purchased from Fashionphile in August. And it’s already my most worn handbag, which is crazy (I would never have guessed it so I’m glad I’ve been using this app to track of my wears). I guess because it’s such a useful and durable bag, I’ve been using it daily and haven’t been doing my usual switch with other bags. I even carry this bag in the rain with no problems. What makes this purchase even sweeter is that I only paid $180 for it by trading in my Valentino bag for it, which I hardly used (read about that here).

4) Vince Blair Sneakers (similar here): Reviewed here (actually more like a comparison review). These have been my go-to sneakers all year and have held up beautifully. They don’t smell and they don’t look worn. I look forward to another couple of years of good wear with them.

5) Celine Small Cabas Phantom: Reviewed here. This is the bag I reach for when I need something a bit bigger. I was using this for work sometimes too but decided I much rather go with the tougher Everlane tote for daily use. This is such a great bag and I even enabled a friend in getting one before the new Celine brand discontinues them.

6) Elizabeth Suzann Linen Clyde Pants: Reviewed here. These were the pants that ended my yearning to buy any other pants (I found my enough point with this pair). I also ended up selling my cotton canvas Clydes because I was just reaching for these all the time. Can’t wait to go back to wearing them post baby!

7) Frame Denim Jeans (similar here): These are my favorite pair of jeans. I can’t find anything exactly like them anymore so I cherish them even more.

8) Arizona Birkenstocks: I resisted these granola shoes for so long but finally broke down and got them in May. And lo and behold they make it to #8 on my most worn list. Guess there’s a reason they’re so popular even though they’re not the most attractive.

9) Celine Nano Belt Bag: Reviewed here. Purchased this in May and sold my Celine Micro Belt bag (and I don’t regret it at all). I much prefer this Nano size though I don’t wear it as much because I’m still in the stages of babying it (yet it still made it to the top 10 list). I want this bag to last forever.

10) Everlane Day Heel Mules: Reviewed here and now on sale! Looooove these shoes and they are my most comfortable pair of heels. As I’ve said before, these are the only heels I’ll wear interchangeably with flats. My go-to shoe when I want a little lift!

11) Hermes Lindy 30 Bag: Reviewed here. I’ve been wanting this bag for years and years so of course the year I get it, it would be one of my top worn items. Lately I’ve been using my Celine bags more because I want to make sure this bag will last a lifetime. This is definitely going to be passed down to my daughter.

12) Polene Numero Un bag: Reviewed here. I’m actually kind of surprised to see this bag make the top 20. I didn’t think I wore it that much, but I guess I did earlier in the year when I got it. I still really like the bag but found I wasn’t using it that much so I decided to loan it to a friend a couple of months ago. Since I’m no longer going into an office (we sold our Airstream biz!) I don’t really need a work bag like this anymore and it’s a tad large for daily use. {Update: Actually my friend gave it back to me, so I think I’ll be selling it soon. Let me know if you’re interested in it!}

13) Everlane Easy Chinos: Reviewed here. These were my other go-to pair of pants (that were non-denim). I looove these chinos and was able to wear them during the first trimester. Now they’re too small so they’re put away for post pregnancy. It was this pair of pants that confirmed for me that elastic pants are part of my essentials list lol.

14) Only Child raw silk Alta top: Reviewed here. This is the only blouse that made the top 20 list since I didn’t include tees. I reaaaallly love this top. I also got the one in linen (reviewed here) but the raw silk version is still my favorite because of its flowiness. If you’re looking for a great slow fashion top that’ll work especially well with high-waisted bottoms, I highly recommend getting this one (I love it even more than my Elizabeth Suzann Georgia tee).

15) Everlane Modern Utility Jacket: Reviewed here. This is the only jacket to make it on my top 20 and that’s because it’s the perfect transition jacket for both spring and fall and super versatile. I can layer sweaters underneath when it’s colder or wear it alone if its a bit drizzly (it’s not fully waterproof but water repellant enough for light moisture). Seriously can’t wait to break this out again for spring!

16) Elizabeth Suzann Silk Georgia Midi Dress: Reviewed here. When I first got it, I thought it might be too long for my short frame but it’s been awesome (especially during pregnancy). I wore this as my “modern muumuu” before I got pregnant and now it’s the perfect maternity dress. This piece is so versatile and has become a staple in my closet. Be prepared to see it a lot more next year.

17) Everlane Boss Mules: Reviewed here. I had a short break in period with these mules, but they are now my favorite pair of black pointed shoes (and I have 5 of them). They’re so light, sleek, and pretty much goes with every outfit. The points also help elongate my short legs. I had really wanted a Jenni Kayne (JK) mules, but now I’m so happy with these I’m no longer stalking the RealReal for a pair of the JK pair. Seriously, these are so good!

18) Rothy’s Point shoe: Reviewed here. When I need the shoe I’m wearing to be more durable and when I know I’ll be doing a lot of walking, these Rothys are my go to. And if you take a look at my comment section you can see I’m not the only one who loves these shoes. I’ve washed them a couple times already in the washing machine (on cold) and air-dryed them and they’ve come out beautifully. Even though Rothys has a recycle option, I’m not sure I’m ever going to need to take them up on their offer.

19) Everlane V Slingback (now 40% off with CWYP—choose what you pay): Reviewed here. So these were my favorite shoes in the spring. They are really comfortable and go with everything. And they’ve held up really well without any major scuffs or marks. Also the woven leather loosens with wear so if you have wide feet like mine they’re the perfect shoe from Everlane (which tend to run a bit narrow).

20) Everlane Ribbed Wool Cashmere Sweater (no longer available): Reviewed here. This is was my all time favorite Everlane sweater of 2017 so not surprising the love for it has continued into 2018. It’s just the perfect thickness, length and I love the weave. Since it’s a wool blend, there’s some pilling but not a lot (not as much as cashmere).

Wow if you went through all that, thanks for reading all about my nerdy closet data lol. I know this probably helps me more than you in that I can now see which pieces are my essentials. But I hope you find some useful information here, especially if you’ve been eyeing any one of these items. Anyway I’ll probably continue to track my wears (especially since I’m planning to add way fewer items to my closet this year) but I won’t bore you with the quarterly updates (unless you want me to lol).

What were some of your most worn items of 2018?

Fancy (Elder) Millennial

Lol dat me?

Thanks to Michelle’s post here, I read this article from VOX about one 26 yo New Yorker’s experience of living as a “Fancy Millennial” for one week. And by Fancy Millennial she means one who buys (or in her case gets free from the company in exchange for the article) and uses all the “best” stuff from direct to consumer companies and funnily enough, these are a lot of the brands I have reviewed here.

In some sense, she was making fun of those of us who choose to purchase from internet companies because we want “the best” of everything (according to her I am the target market for these brands by being “a city-dwelling millennial job-haver who cares deeply about stuff” and that buying this stuff “isn’t just a display of wealth; it’s your morality: that you are indeed the Informed Consumer, able to not only afford the best but to know what ‘the best’ even is. It’s a marketing strategy that is not new, of course, but that seems to work particularly well at the present moment.”—lol, not untrue). But at the same time she made a good point that of course having really good stuff doesn’t change who you are as a person nor does it necessarily make your life better. Nor are all of these things really the best (and that’s why I like to do unsponsored reviews of these much hyped about brands). Of course I’m super fortunate to be able to purchase and try these things and can afford to waste money on things that don’t work out.

But I think she also misses the point that by being a well-informed shopper that chooses to purchase from these direct-to-consumer brands we are supporting companies that are trying to do better (like Everlane), are actually making a better product (Away with their ejectable battery), or are giving us better bang for our buck by not taking up shelf-space in a store (like Brooklinen or ThirdLove). I find the quality and value to be infinitely better than products you’ll find at Macys or other such department stores, and they’re usually pretty similar in price. And to me, that’s being frugal and not necessarily a spendthrift who wants to “show-off their morality.”

Also I’m an elder millennial (I barely make the millennial cut-off by being born in ‘83) and am a full decade older than the writer and I think that makes a difference. At this point in my life I can afford these luxuries. I live in a comfortable house in California (soon to be a more minimal but hopefully equally comfortable condo in California) and currently spend little money on booze, eating out, and traveling. So yep I spend more money on stuff and I want it to be “the best”. I don’t think it makes my life better but man oh man do I enjoy my Brooklinen sheets and my quality Everlane clothes, lol.

Anyway here are the products that she mentions in the article that I have tried or reviewed:

• Brooklinen sheet set: $178 (reviewed here)

• Casper Wave full-size mattress: $1,950 (I haven’t tried their mattress, but I' reviewed their sheets here; also I’ve tried a Lull mattress—a similar concept to Casper, which I haven’t reviewed but will if you guys are interested.)

• Away carry-on: $225 (reviewed here)

• Lola tampons: $10 and Cora tampons: $33 (both reviewed here, and I came to the same conclusion as the writer: they’re exactly the same)

• Glossier Boy Brow: $16 (reviewed here)

• Outdoor Voices set: $95 (reviewed here)

• Allbirds wool runners: $95 (haven’t reviewed but tried it out. Personally I like my sneakers to have a bit more support in the arch)

• ThirdLove Classic T-shirt bra: $68 (reviewed here)

• Lively Busty Bralette: $35 (purchased but never got around to reviewing. They did not work for me and I prefer ThirdLove bras over Lively).

• Everlane cashmere crew: $100 (lots of cashmere reviews but my fave Everlane cashmere sweater reviewed here)

• Everlane Boss bootie: $215 (haven’t tried the bootie since I already have 1 bootie and that’s enough for me, but I love my Boss Mules reviewed here)

• Everlane Form bag: $235 (reviewed here)

• Everlane clean silk square shirt: $98 (old Everlane silk review here)

P.S. If you’re an older millennial like myself, the stand-up comedy show Elder Millennial by Iliza Shlesinger (on Netflix) has some great moments that hit close to home!

Happy Holidays

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Wishing everyone a happy holidays and please relish every minute with your friends and family!

Weekend Update/Ramblings

It’s interesting how grief works, or at least how it’s been working for me. A comment by Kat from Feather Factor really nailed it when she said it’s moments of crying/sadness interspersed in a mostly normal everyday feeling. Since I don’t live in the same state as my dad, it’s probably easier for me to feel normal since he’s not a part of my daily life. I’m sure it’ll be tough when I do go back to Hawaii and especially since I have to clean up/pack up his apartment once I’m able to travel with baby (probably sometime this summer). Also since I’m his next of kin (his only child and he’s divorced), the funeral arrangements and official death certificate matters (closing of his accounts and such) are all left up to me. I wish there was someone you could designate as your stand-in for things like this because talk about a burden on top of grief. Luckily, my mom and uncle have been helping me out a lot since I’m stuck here in Cali. Also if you find yourself the next of kin, know your kin’s social security number and their parents’ full names and their mother’s maiden name for the death certificate. These are things I never thought to ask my dad and luckily my mom still had some records of it and my uncle knew my grandparents’ full names.

Anyway I look forward to the coming new year (even more so than Christmas). A fresh new year! Also 2019 is my Chinese animal zodiac year (year of the pig). Fun fact: my mom is also the year of the pig and now my baby will also be the year of the pig. This happens because both my mom and I had/are having babies when we’re 36 (the animal zodiacs cycle every 12 years). Also my husband is the year of the pig. So we’re just going to be a family of piggies lol.

2018 Tech Guide Update

Tech items are one of those things that I feel are hyped up every year because it’s all shiny and new and then forgotten about as new tech items flood the market. Well I don’t believe in always getting the newest gadget so I thought I would update last year’s tech guide to let you all know whether the stuff I reviewed then were really worth it and stood the test of time.

Worth It

The Apple Airpods are still very much worth it. I use them almost daily, and they’re great for music and talking on the phone alike. This year I added a handy dandy case with them so I can easily find them in my purse and I keep them with me at all times.

My love for the Voloom Volumizing Hair Iron is still going strong. It’s about 6 years old now and still works great!

And I’m still using my Amazon Echo Dot with TP-Link Smart Plug daily for my bedroom floor light. We got another plug for our Christmas tree this year so all we have to say is “Alexa turn on the tree” :D .

Less Worth It

So after using the Awair air monitor for a year I have to say it’s been a mixed-bag kind of experience. The monitor still works, though the dust/PM 2.5 reading is permanently high which means the air quality rating is stuck at a fairly low reading all the time. I tried cleaning it but to no avail. However it still did a good job of letting me know how poor the air quality was indoors during the wildfires this season (even with all the windows and doors closed, the rating was the lowest I’ve ever seen it so it must still be getting in the house). I guess if I go and fix it, I will say this will be worth it again.

Not Worth It

The Coravin Wine System is not worth it. Granted I’m not drinking currently and haven’t for the last 6 months. But even before that I hardly touched it. TBH it’s just so much easier to open the bottle the old fashion way, use one of these things to seal it back as best as possible and then finish the bottle within three days.

And this was not on last year’s list, but one new tech gadget I tried this year was the Dyson Airwrap (reviewed here). And I have to say, it’s definitely not worth $550! Stick with your regular hair dryer and curling irons because this is just all a fad.

What were some tech gadgets that you thought were worth getting? I’m taking votes for next year’s tech guide :)

A Tough Month

This has been a very very tough month. Last week Saturday I had another bleeding episode, though not nearly as bad as the first that led to the 2 night hospital stay the weekend before. But scary nonetheless. This time I was prepared so I was able to take care of myself at home and a call to the doctor reassured me I was doing everything correctly. Luckily it stopped and could have been due to some contractions and preterm labor, which passed. Or it could have been the fibroids degenerating (I went to a follow-up visit and we still don’t know). But it was during this crisis that I learned my dad had passed away on Friday.

It was sudden and came without warning. He had reported feeling unwell on Wednesday but since he lives alone in Hawaii no one found him until Saturday when my uncle went to check on him. It makes me incredibly sad to think he slipped away without notice, but also I know that is how he wanted to go (without bothering anyone and causing anyone trouble). Also I know he never would have wanted to pass in a hospital. So really he went on his own terms and I would like to think peacefully and in his sleep.

I talked to him last about two weeks ago. I usually call him every weekend but since I was in the hospital the weekend before, I forgot. And that’s not unusual, I sometimes skip a weekend here and there. The last time I talked to him, he was happy to hear that we decided to name our baby girl’s middle name after him (which is Rei, and his name is Raymond but everyone calls him Ray). So I’m glad he got to hear that, though it also makes me cry when I think that he will never get to meet his granddaughter.

You might think it odd that I go about my business here as usual with the reviews, but most of these have been written ahead of time and scheduled to be posted (though I did move up a bunch of reviews so that they were published last week prior to this post because it felt inappropriate to post smiling pictures of myself after this post). I thought about taking a break and disappearing for a month or two, but to be honest writing this blog is my escape. It’s a joy and something that distracts me from the sadness. Also I would like to think that my dad would not want me to stop doing what I love and become depressed about it all (which is an easy slide to go down if I let myself). But I will write and post whenever I feel like it and will not be posting on a regular schedule until 2019 I think.

And there’s nothing to be depressed over. He knows he was loved and I know I was loved. He knows I’ll be alright and I know he had a content and happy life. Part of living is dying and we’ve never shied away from talking about it before. Neither of us have any regrets when it comes to our relationship.

Yet the timing could not have been worse, though there are some silver linings to it. I unfortunately cannot go back to Hawaii for his funeral due to this complicated pregnancy. But I was very lucky that my mom was here with me when we found out (she has been divorced from my dad for decades). And she has been a great comfort along with my husband. Also I’m lucky that I can’t drink currently since I’m sure I would have drowned my sorrows in alcohol only to fuel a depression.

Anyway I wondered if this was too personal a thing to share on this blog but then again I share everything on this blog. I didn’t want it to feel like this something I need to hide, a pain I couldn’t express because I don’t want to make this blog “heavy.” Grief is natural and it’s okay to let people know that you’re grieving. Anyway thanks for letting me share this and it’s been therapeutic for me. And hug your loved ones a little more and tell them you love them this month for me because you never know what could happen.

Weekend Update: Everlane winner!

Congrats to the winner of Everlane gift card giveaway, Alice! And thanks to everyone who entered!

And some things I liked around the internet this week: Jamie-Lee talks about her enough point, LS talks about all the lessons learned from her moth problem, and thinking about boycotting Tetra-paks because of their DGAF attitude about how they affect the environment.

Unsponsored Rothys Review: The Sneaker

So I reviewed Rothys’ The Point flat here (and you can read all the benefits of Rothys the brand there) and it’s still one of my favorite flats since it’s not only durable but machine washable. But when Rothys came out with their sneaker version, I definitely wanted to try it out since I’m all for sporty and comfortable shoes. I really like how the Rothy’s sneakers look a lot like my favorite Vince sneakers but with the added benefit of being machine washable, made from recycled materials, recyclable at the end of life, and cheaper.

But first a note on sizing: I would take your true size on the sneakers (while you should size up with the Rothys points) if you have average length but wide feet. If you have average width but slightly longer foot you might still have to size up (see Sandy’s comments below) So I’m a size 8 in the points but a 7.5 in the sneakers. Since the toe bed area is a lot wider for the sneakers, I didn’t have to size up.

As for how they wear, these are uber comfy and I love how they really wrap around your foot but also stretch with it. The sole is not too heavy though a tad heavier than my Vince sneakers. But they also provide a bit more cushion than my Vince sneakers. No problems with arch support or blisters. Seriously another great shoe from Rothys.

If you’re interested in trying them out, this referral link will get you $20 off (and for me too). And since I got a bit saved up from my Rothy’s points review I’ll be doing another Rothy’s code giveaway soon!

Anyone else try the sneaker and what did you think?

Pregnancy essentials for the first 6 months

I’ve always disliked that marketers bombard moms-to-be and new moms with all the things they need to buy for this new phase in their life, whether it be maternity clothes to pregnancy pillows. But as your body and lifestyle changes, yes sometimes you need new things to accommodate that. So here are the four things that I found most useful for my first 6 months of pregnancy:

A Weekly Pill Case

Ok, so this might not seem like a usual thing to recommend to pregnant women, but prenatal vitamins are really essential during pregnancy (and even before). But the first trimester and nausea/morning sickness is no joke and couple that with pregnancy brain (also a real thing, not a myth) and suddenly remembering to take a vitamin everyday is no easy task (at least for me). So a 7 day pill case was just what I needed to answer my daily question of “Did I take my prenatal vitamin today?” I plan to keep this until I’m a senior citizen because you know I’ll be needing it then too (let’s take care and treasure our plastic folks!).

Belly Butter

Preventing stretch marks with a cream alone is largely a myth (the best prevention is gaining weight slowly or minimally) but moisturizing tight belly skin can help how bad it looks. But more importantly, your skin can get ridiculously itchy when pregnant and moisturizing is key. I mentioned it in a previous post, but this mostly natural belly butter has been essential for my sensitive itchy skin. One 8 oz bottle has lasted me for the first 6 months and I might need just one more bottle for the rest of the pregnancy. And at less than $10 each, it’s waaaay cheaper than the Tata Harper lotion I tried (which gave me a rash). I only wish this came in bulk or a less waste option.

A Wedge Pillow

So I tried one of those large full-body pregnancy pillow and I hated it. And sadly it was quite expensive (what a waste of money, ugh). So when I asked a fellow pregnant friend what she uses, she recommended a wedge pillow. And oh man, I love the wedge! It’s perfect for supporting my belly but also I sometimes use it for my back. I also love using it wedge side down to support my lumbar when sitting up in bed. I plan to use this versatile pillow post pregnancy and beyond. Also I found this wedge pillow easy to take to the hospital when I went for my ER scare. It came in super handy for lumbar support and sleeping but also fit easily into an overnighter bag.

My Slip Silk Pillowcase

So I know this isn’t a normal essential for pregnant women but with a growing belly you are forced to sleep on your side. And I’m just so grateful to have purchased this pillowcase before the pregnancy and I now love it more than ever. I can sleep comfortable on my side knowing that I’m not increasing my chance for wrinkles nor will I wake up with a crease on my cheek. You can read my initial review here (and if you’re tempted to get a cheaper dupe on Amazon, you can read my comparison review of a dupe here).

So those three additions (plus one I already had) has made the most difference so far in my pregnancy. For those mamas and mamas-to-be out there, what were some of your essentials? I already have the heavy duty maternity belt ready to support my ever growing belly and relieve my back (but didn’t include it here since I just got it).

First Jenni Kayne Review: Secondhand Wool Trench

You’ve heard me talk about Jenni Kayne before on this blog and so you know I’m a long time admirer though I never pulled the trigger on any of their stuff (because it’s so dang expensive and not really in the ethical fashion realm). But I just love her simple California casual styling and many of her pieces are classic, feminine and modern (and all in neutrals—just how I like it). I follow her on Insta for inspiration, which I then try to sometimes recreate with Everlane. And recently I started watching The RealReal (through my saved “feeds”) to see what popped up on there. I mostly was keeping an eye out for a pair of their leather mules in my size (which I’m not as keen on purchasing those anymore now that I have my Everlane Boss Mules that I love), but when a wool trench coat was listed I took the chance to try it out ($12 shipping and possible $12 return shipping be damned—I actually purchased several things I’d been saving to try out at once in order to hopefully reduce the pain of these costs). Anyway I’ve featured it several times on my Insta-stories because I’m in looooove. And even though you can’t buy the exact same one (though who knows what will pop up on the secondhand market), I wanted to write this post about my first experience and impressions of Jenni Kayne.

So first of all, I was seriously considering an Everlane coccon coat as a preggo winter coat since none of my winter coats currently fit me. True, I live in California so it’s not super necessary for me to button up all the way. But at the same time I just really disliked the feeling of not being able to button up any of my coats (essentially making everything feel as if it doesn’t fit). Well when I considered the Everlane cocoon coat (which I slightly regretted passing up as a freebie from Everlane but you know about my new resolve), I saw that it was only 60% wool and 40% plastic. In general, I’m trying to add clothes made from only natural fibers from here on out so I was hugely turned off by the plastic content of the coat (which by the way makes it substantially less warm). So I got really lucky that this 100% wool (with a 100% silk lining) Jenni Kayne coat popped up.

And how is it? It’s so dreamy. It really is the perfect wool coat for California. The wool is on the thinner side so I do need to layer sweaters under when it gets colder, but for San Jose weather it’s just right (for San Francisco I definitely need to layer). I love that there are no buttons to fuss with and it’s a simple tie closure. The inside silk lining feels wonderful when I wear shorter sleeve tops or dresses. The material quality is top notch and I’m very impressed by how well made the coat is. I’m wearing a small here and it’s perfect with just enough space to layer my Everlane cashmere waffle knit sweater underneath and accomodate my growing baby bump.

There’s the exact same trench in a size XS available on the RealReal right now and it’s about $100 less than what I paid (dangit!). If you’re lucky enough to be a size 0-2 and live in a place with moderate winters, I highly recommend this wool trench! If that one happen to be gone (depending on when you see this review), maybe you’ll get lucky when you do a general search on theRealReal for a Jenni Kayne coat like this link here.

Everlane Review The Soft Cotton Square Crew

So I’m quite a bit late to the game here on Everlane’s soft cotton square crew since these sweaters were released ages ago. But I usually avoided the square styles since I didn’t think it flattered my petite frame. I’ve always felt like a sail from a sailboat in their square styles. However, I’ve just figured out square shaped sweaters are 1) less sail-like because they drape so nicely and 2) they’re the best friend for pregnant ladies since they don’t cling to the belly.

{Wearing: Everlane soft cotton square crew (size small), Storq pencil skirt (review coming soon), Everlane Boss Mules (reviewed here)}

I purchased this sweater on a whim as a second item to get free shipping, not really expecting much. But while I returned the alpaca sweater (reviewed here), I fell in love with this cotton square crew. So much so that I want to get a second one (but I keep reminding myself more is not always better so I’m going to wait). But right now San Jose is in the mid 60’s and it’s the perfect temperature for these cotton sweaters.

This is the perfect, slightly cropped casual cotton sweater to throw over anything (though I especially like the look when it’s over a more fitted bottom). The cotton quality is awesome and is softer than Everlane’s long sleeve cotton crew (reviewed here). Yet the knit is still pretty tightly woven and doesn’t stretch out much with repeated wear. But I do wonder if it’ll stretch out after washing. I’ll keep you posted on how it wears. The care instructions say to hand wash cold, but I usually put sweaters in a net in the washer and wash on delicate (and lay out to dry). I got this in a small and because of the square shape I find it’s the right size (and I’ll get to wear it post pregnancy in the spring too). As I write this review and all the positives about this sweater I’m really itching to get a second one (probably in black).

Anyway who else has this sweater and loves it?

P.S. Anyone else get the free $20 from Everlane? This makes it even more tempting to buy another one…

P.P.S It looks like Everlane added some things to their Choose What You Pay Sale (and here are some of my current faves on sale), the best of which are the polka dot cupro dress here (and if you prefer a button-down, their polka dot cupro shirt here). I loooooove my polka dot cupro dress in navy, which I reviewed here. I’ve worn it 11 times so far and plan to wear it without the belt and with leggings for the winter! And for those living in the southern hemisphere or somewhere similarly warm, my all time favorite cotton dress from Everlane is also for sale here (though I have the blue and white striped one, and not this red one, which I reviewed here). And if you’re feeling lucky, enter my $50 Everlane gift card giveaway that I posted about yesterday!

Weekend Update/Ramblings & Giveaway! {Closed)

Thanks to everyone who saw my rather dramatic Insta-story post about checking into the ER on Saturday night. I had some scary bleed episodes and rushed to the hospital where they did a bunch of tests, gave me an IV, some shots, and special monitoring. After all that they’re not sure what the problem is but it could be either a placental abruption or something with the fibroids. Anyway on the bright side things turned out well and I have special instructions in case I do go into pre-term labor. Also this was kind of a test run for the real deal when I have to go into the hospital for my C-section, which will be longer than this past two night stint. Oh and I’m not sure if I mentioned it here but I definitely have to get a C-section due to my fibroids. When they did the ultrasounds to check for the baby’s growth (which is all good by the way), I also asked them to estimate the size of my fibroids. I have one the size of a mini watermelon and another the size of a grapefruit, and both are blocking the baby’s exit through the cervix. The doctors were amazed I was even able to get pregnant in the first place considering the location of these fibroids.

Anyway the bottom portion is something that I wrote earlier in the week before all this drama. It’s small beans compared to what I just went through but I didn’t feel like erasing it. Even though the bottom matters are relatively insignificant, they’re still things I think about when it comes to this blog.

I learned a bit of discouraging info about the blog this month when I was looking over the stats. I try not to look at it too often since I don’t want to be ruled by numbers, but at the same time I keep an eye out on them so that I can make sure I’m on the right track when it comes to writing about what people want to read. And it seems I went off the track because my numbers are way down last month, which is particularly unusual. And the week I can pinpoint where I lost a lot of readers? After publishing this post saying I’ll be doing less clothing reviews. Hot dang that’s discouraging. I want people to read this blog, so I guess that means the best way to do that is to keep acquiring new things and reviewing them? No, I know that’s not the best for my pocketbook or mental health but still, I wish I could take those words back and keep the readers! The irony, is that I’m still doing a ton of reviews because I had a backlog of things I wanted to talk about on the blog. Plus I’m still buying things, I’m just no longer getting things for free. I feel like I made a wrong decision since who wouldn’t want to be still getting things for free, more readers in the process, and earn more money (triple positive). Now I feel like I’m in triple negative territory. Ah well, I just need to keep doing what I feel is right for me though and try not to get discouraged.

And guess all those fair-weather readers will miss out on some giveaways I had planned. Like this one for a $50 Everlane gift card! Thank you to all those who did decide to stick around despite my decision for no sponsored/gifted items posts and less reviews in general. You are my true reader-friends :)

To enter just fill in the form below. The giveaway closes next Sunday PST and winner will be announced Monday. Email will just be used to notify the winner and as the address to send the digital gift card to (no spam). And please only one entry per person. Thanks!

Fendi Small By The Way Bag Review {Updated August 2022}

I’m not really a fan of Fendi. I’ve never liked their fashion/style (ick their F logos) nor their traditional specialty (fur). But 4-5 years ago, when this By The Way Bag was introduced by Fendi I fell in love. It didn’t matter what the designer brand was, I loved the style and simplicity (it almost look like it could be a Celine bag no?). Anyway I purchased this bag back in 2015 (at $500 off retail, but still at about $1300). A lot, I know but I loved that bag and waited for a year for it to finally go down in price. Also I should mention this is one of the few bags I’ve ever purchased new (that’s how much I wanted it).

And I’ve carried this By The Way (BTW) bag consistently for 3 years now and it’s probably the most used bag in my arsenal. It’s also one of the oldest, and it’s a testament to how great of a bag it is considering how quick I am to sell bags that I don’t find useful anymore.

So it’s a surprise that I’ve never thought about reviewing it on the blog yet. It’s probably because this bag never really took off and became a trendy “it” bag (but that’s also why I love it so much too—it’s obscure). Also when a bunch of new things are constantly entering the closet, the really old stuff sometimes get forgotten. But I would be doing a disservice to the bag if I didn’t review it and let you guys all know about it (especially now that it’s been out for so long and you can find some really really good deals on this bag used like the one linked above).

Some of the things I love about this bag are:

~ (ok this is the best thing about the bag) The handle straps that can be folded down flat against the bag to give it a sleek shape when carrying it crossbody. I usually carry my bags over my shoulder or crossbody but I like having the option of top handles, especially when I need to peer into the bag to get something. Most of my crossbody bags like my Celine Nano Belt (reviewed here) and Celine Soft Cube bag (reviewed here) have handles that stick out or flop down, which isn’t a problem. But this BTW bag handles are so discrete and yet so useful!

~ I’ve always loved the boston bag shape (rectangular bottom with a simple shape and two top handles). But this bag doesn’t look like your classic boston bag (think of Gucci’s Boston Bag or Dior’s Boston bag).

~ That classic shape also allows it to hold a lot of stuff. The top is slightly narrower than the base so the bag feels unobtrusive, yet because of the great rectangular base it can way more than you think! This is probably one of my larger crossbody bags that can fit the essentials and then some.

~ The leather is super durable (well the one I have is the smooth leather) and this is the bag I take on rainy days. No water spots ever. Plus it’s fully zippable so nothing inside gets wet.

~ Speaking of the inside, the bag is separated into three compartments. There’s a middle zipper one, perfect for small items and things you don’t want to lose ever. And then there’s two larger compartments that can hold your sunglass case or your larger wallet. One of the side also has pockets in the lining (though it can’t fit your iPhone). And then the whole thing can be zipped up securely with the main zipper compartment.

~ Because of the adjustable crossbody strap and the flatable top handles, there are a lot of ways to carry this bag. Over your shoulder with a shortened strap, crossbody with the longer strap, hand held, or push one side down flat and pop the other for a cool clutch (like the runway models below but I have to say I have never once carried it this way).

Large size

small size

After three years of using and owning this bag here are some of the negatives I’ve learned:

~ The strap that the BTW comes with is great because the snaps make it fully adjustable. But for me, my hair kept getting stuck in them and it would end up pulling my hair out. No thanks, I need all the hair I can keep! So I ended up switching it with a different strap and it was no big deal.

~ There are no feet on the bottom of this bag so you have to be kind of careful where you set it down. Seriously feet would have made this bag near perfect in my eyes.

~ After 3 years of use and abuse the corners of the bag have started to indent in. But that doesn’t really bother me, it’s just a sign that this bag has been well used (plus have you seen the corners of my Everlane Day Market Tote? If I can handle that, I can handle anything. Well except when the corners start getting holes in them—ahem I’m looking at you Goyard St. Louis bags and Longchamp Le Pilage bags. The flatable handles of the BTW bag will also start bending with use but there’s no popped stitching or other wear on them.

So if you compare my pros and cons list, you can see that the pros far outweigh the cons (even 3 years later). So now you can see why I’ve kept this bag around as a workhorse. Seriously there couldn’t be a more practical crossbody bag for me out there, so I’ll excuse the fact that it’s a Fendi, lol.

As I mentioned above, because this style was never super popular and because it’s 4 years old you can find some major deals on this bag at my favorite online consignment store: Fashionphile. Here are the current ones available. Like I said in the beginning I currently have the black one in a small but I’m really loving the larger one in dove gray, which is priced at less than half of what I bought my black one for! So tempting but I will wait for now.

Anyway this bag really lives up to its name. Not flashy and almost an afterthought. Like “by the way, this is an awesome, minimal and useful bag!”

{August 2022 Update: This Fendi By the Way bag is officially the oldest and most used bag in my collection. I first wrote this post 4 years ago and by then it was already 4 years old. And this 8 year old bag still looks good and functions great. In fact, it made it to the number 6 position in my bag rankings (6 out of 23). It’s funny I love this bag so much since I’m not really a fan of Fendi, but I plan to never sell this bag, ever!}

Grana Review: Pima Lindis Wrap Cardigan

So I’ve been quietly trying Grana items here and there throughout the year since I still had some Grana credits left, but I didn’t want to write a review on every single item because frankly a lot of them ended up being things I didn’t wear much and I wouldn’t recommend them anyway (I’ve sold them to my local Crossroads or on eBay). But this pima lindis wrap cardigan has quietly snuck into my daily wear and has become a bit of an unsung hero. So I thought I’d let people know about it, especially since it’s currently on sale and I wear it at least 4 times a week. But I have to qualify that and say I wear it mostly as lounge-wear at home or quick trips to places where I don’t care who sees me (the garage or grocery store).

I purchased this on a whim (with credits) when I found out I was pregnant because I knew I wanted something that I could wrap. Plus a wrap cardigan would be something useful for breastfeeding too. Also since I didn’t have any wrap cardigans (and very few cardigans at all), I thought I would give this a try. And I’m glad I did! I really love this mostly cotton sweater, which means there’s zero itch. But there’s just enough merino wool to make it warmer than your average cotton sweater. There’s minimal bulk and yet it keeps me warm in 60 degree weather. The knit is really good and there’s been minimal pilling even with such frequent wear (probably due to the mostly cotton content). And I’ve been wearing it now for almost 3 months. It’s the perfect thing to throw on at home and then even step out in for quick errands. This has been one of my favorite buys from Grana this year hands-down.

I got in a medium since I wanted to accommodate my growing belly, but I probably could have gotten away with a small (I’m usually a size 4 on top).

I’m even tempted to get the gray one to recreate the look from Jenni Kayne below (it was a sneak peak of her spring season collection). But the Grana one doesn’t have pockets and it’s a tad shorter than the Jenni Kayne version below (which is good for us short gals).

Anyway if you’re looking for a good wrap cardigan or a transitional sweater, I highly recommend this high quality one from Grana. This one is a clear winner to me! And if you’re a first time Grana customer you can get 10% off your order with this referral link (but they have 10% off sales all the time tbh).

P.S. Congrats to Sara for winning last week’s Etsy Ring giveaway and thanks to everyone who entered!

The Everlane Day Market Tote 100 Wears Later

As my first item in my closet to reach a 100 wears this year (ever since I started keeping track in the Stylebook app), I wanted to give you guys an update on how this Everlane Day Market Tote is holding up. I originally reviewed the bag here. Currently I’m at 104 wear and at $1.58 per wear. Not bad eh?

This is by far my most used item because it’s my work tote and travel tote. And since it’s my work tote I don’t baby it at all. I just pile things in because in all transparency I’m quite a messy person.

So if you’re one to put things in neatly I’m sure your tote would look much better than this after 100 wears. But as for me, I know this is a really great tote because even after all the abuse it’s taken, it’s not only still fully functional but it still looks great too!

I actually like the look of the tote on the weathered side. It looks loved and well-used. And with age, the leather on this tote has gotten better. The leather has softened with use. The corners are also a bit wrinkled and when it sits empty, it takes a funny shape (but I’m pretty sure this is because like I said above, I just throw things in there). But I like it. It’s got it’s own wrinkles and character.

The handles are still in great shape even though I’ll carry up to 30+ pounds in there (and I can do that because the tote itself is so lightweight). I once had a Mansur Gavriel bag straps get flaky and crusty as the leather and paint started to soften and wear but I have no problems like that with this bag.

I have to say that after my Longchamp Le Pliage tote, this Everlane tote is my favorite (the longchamp is #1 because it’s foldable). But this is by far my favorite leather bag, which is interesting because the leather on this bag is unlike most of my leather bags (this one is stiffer and lighter than the rest). So if you’re looking for an excellent workhorse of a bag, I highly recommend Everlane’s Day Market tote. I look forward to writing a 200 wears later post on this bag :)

Weekend Update/Ramblings

A miminmalist Christmas tree? Lol, no just seemed to have lost my box of ornaments from all the moves in the last 3 years and so we’re starting from scratch >.<

How was your week after the holidays? Rough? Yea a bit tough for me too and I’m starting to feel the holiday stress (closing down the biz! Moving! Baby stuff! Mom’s coming to visit! eeek). But I’m trying to keep it cool for the baby and taking time to read some Eckhart Tolle to keep my eye on the bigger picture of life (lol, ok I know he’s kind of out there but after reading 10% Happier and moving towards mindfulness and meditation, the things he says does make sense. He just uses quite abstract and flowery language).

And what a surprise to learn that Brianna of Constant Closet is closing her highly successful Instagram account due to the comments and pressure from the ethical fashion Insta community. There’s such high expectations in this ethical fashion space to do things the “right” way and people can get quite mean about it. I’ve been hurt several times myself for not living up to someone’s expectations though I try to view it as they just want to see me do better. And I try not to take it personally (I mean they don’t really know me do they?). Plus my positive experiences with this community far outweigh the smattering of negativity that I sometimes encounter (so thank you guys for always being so kind!!).

Anyway some great posts recently from ethical fashion bloggers: Love Jasmine’s post about the privilege of being able to shop ethically (it really is a luxury to get to learn what is your enough point and to be able to choose less but better); and Helen’s review of Everlane’s silk charmeuse tie neck blouse makes me really want one but I know I can’t wear it til post baby so what’s the point; and Archana’s list of personal style books have inspired me to hit the library over pinterest!

Unsponsored Storq Signature Leggings Review

This is my second Storq review, with my first one being the Easy pant (review here), and it also happens to be a bottoms review. Comfy, stretchy bottoms for pregnant women are hard to find secondhand, thus I find I’m having to buy them new. Dresses and tops are much easier since I can still fit into a larger size for those.

So one of the more hyped about ethical maternity leggings I heard about are these Signature Leggings from Storq. These leggings are made in China but Storq’s about page assures us they were made under fair working conditions, and thus their ethics are much like Everlane’s. So what did I think of the leggings?

Well the 92% modal and 8% spandex material is quite stretchy and comfortable and I find them to be fully opaque (though I still always cover my butt when wearing leggings). My biggest gripe though is that they don’t make these in various lengths so for someone petite like me (I’m 5’4”) these leggings are way too long. I end up having to bunch them up by the crotch or the upper thigh to make them the right length. Also there’s a seam that runs up vertically from the crotch to the smooth belly panel that doesn’t lie flat (pic below).

So the first time I wore them, after 3 hours I had an angry irritated mark on my belly from that seam (poor design!). However I was able to remedy that by wearing a tank under the leggings, which I have to do everytime I wear these leggings. I think also if you’re taller, your undies would prevent that problem, but that seam is way longer on my short frame and comes up past that. So as long as I tuck in a tank or a tee I no longer have that problem. Also because I’m short, the belly panel comes up to right under my bra.

So these leggings aren’t perfect, but they’re pretty good. And the negatives aren’t so bad that I won’t wear them. In fact they’re an integral part of my favorite maternity uniform (that I’m wearing in all these pics): these leggings plus a thrifted Lemaire for Uniqlo knit tunic.

Anyway I think if you’re taller than 5’4”, these leggings shouldn’t give you any problems. But for us short gals we have to make do, unless does someone know a brand that makes good ethical leggings for petite preggos?

P.S. If you’d like to see a review where I compare these leggings with Hatch Maternity leggings, target maternity leggings, PACT leggings and Uniqlo leggings see here. You can find all my other Storq reviews here.