I didn’t think I could top the number of books I read last month, but I did. I guess that’s what happens when you’re trying to get through a No-Buy (and no browsing) month. Plus we’re not going out as much because of Covid and ridiculous gas prices. Well I have no complaints, and I’m perfectly content to sit around reading library books for now. I feel like I’m catching up for lost time (when I didn’t read during pregnancy and Emi’s first two years of life). Oh but also two of these books are really short.
That Summer by Jenifer Weiner: I thought I would kick off the summer with some light summer “chic lit” reading, and Weiner (author of In Her Shoes and Good in Bed) was a favorite in the past. Well this book was quite a bit darker than I expected, revolving around a rape involving teens, so be forewarned that light summer reading this is not.
Time is a Mother by Ocean Vuong: I admittedly haven’t read any poetry since high school. I’m not really a poetry kind of gal, and I don’t really have the patience to try to tease out the meaning of each line. That being said, I’m glad I checked this book out of the library and had a chance to inject some poetry into my usual reading. In the end, reading poetry (even if I don’t full understand it) leaves me with a feeling. A lot of it feels dark, like he’s in pain, with a sense of loss, and it’s amazing that certain phrases can reverberate so much.
Calmer Easier Happier Screen Time by Noel Janis-Norton: This book caught my eye as I was walking through the library aisles and I’m so glad I picked it up. We’ve been trying to stick with 30 minutes of screen time every other day but Emi started whining and throwing tantrums for more. So this book really came in handy to resolve the current (quite minimal) problem but also gave us som tactics to head off bigger problems in the future. The biggest lesson I learned from this was to make kids earn their leisure screen time. She has all kinds of tips on getting kids to comply with this, but since Emi’s just 3 it was easy for us to establish this new rule. Now she earns 15 minutes for every sleep session she doesn’t suck her thumb (we’re really trying to motivate her to stop this bad habit). Later when she stops sucking her thumb, we’ll follow Janis-Norton’s tip of letting her earn screen time for complete cooperation (the kid has to do everything you say). She also has a lot of other useful parenting tips (a lot of which I see on Instagram parenting accounts) and I highly recommend reading this book if you want to decrease the amount of your kid’s screen time.
Cultish by Amanda Montell: This book first came on my radar thanks to Grace, when she said this was one of the best books she read in awhile back in November of last year. And she wasn’t wrong, it’s a great read. I for one have to admit that I’m a bit of a fan of documentaries about cults. I think I’ve watched pretty much all of them on Netflix and HBO (the most recent being The Way Down). A lot of it is about the fascination about how weird it can get and how seemingly normal people could believe such outlandish notions and do such ridiculous things (or just being in total control of a slightly unhinged seeming person). This book is written by a linguist so it comes at it an angle that I’ve never though of before: “Words are the medium through which belief systems are manufactured, nurtured, reinforced, their fanaticism fundamentally couldn’t exist without them…Without language there are no cults.” And overall I learned a lot: there’s no such thing as “brain-washing” (it’s just a thought-terminating cliche—another concept I learned form the book), and it’s the most optimistic and idealistic of us that can get entrapped by a cult). I definitely recommend reading this if you have any fascination about cults.
The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson: Let’s just say this parenting book was so good I decided to buy it. This is the first time I’ve bought a book since reading it at the library and it’s because there’s so many useful parenting tips I wanted to be sure to have this guide with me as Emi grows older. This book comes at parenting from a fairly science/neuroscience-based angle (ie what your child’s brain is capable of, what can you help them learn or develop) and maybe that’s why it speaks to me especially well. But the biggest takeaway for me was the way you can help your child learn mindfulness (they unfortunately call it “mindsight” which I think is confusing). I haven’t read a ton of parenting books, just the one above, Babywise, 1,2,3 Magic, and Emily Oster’s data-driven parenting books (which I also like but never felt compelled to purchase), but I think the Whole-Brain Child is a must-read for parents.
Educated by Tara Westover: A little late to the game on this one, but I finally added it to my library holds and read it several years after the buzz has died down. But I see why it was so buzz-worthy in the first place. Some of her stories are quite unbelievable, and I was just amazed that no one in her family has died despite all the close calls and their rejection of the Medical Establishment. Also after reading Cultish, it feels like Westover grew up in a kind of cult (she was isolated from the general population and was under the thumb of a slightly deranged but charismatic leader—her father), and the book was her finding her way out of it to finally be able to think for herself.
Worn: A People’s History of Clothing by Sofi Thanhauser: After reading a history about jewels in Stoned, I thought I would read another history book that revolved around something else I’m interested in, clothes. I never was really into history, but I have to say history can be so fascinating when it’s not about memorizing useless dates and it pertains to something you’re interested in. Thanhauser talks about the history of linen, cotton, silk, synthetics, and wool. And she not only talks about the past but also the current state of the production of these fabrics and clothes that they’re made from. Anyway I think this should be required reading for all influencers who sell clothes. You really should know what you’re selling and that includes the history and current state of the fabric of the garments you’re hawking. Then I think you would truly understand the damage of fast fashion, especially on the ways it keeps whole nations poor and the toll it takes on humans (mostly female workers who have no other choice than this type of indentured servitude). Thanhauser tells “the story of how we went from making fabric ourselves as part of out everyday work to dressing in clothes that come from a complex, inscrutable system that has divorces us from the creative act, from our land, and from our rights as consumers and workers.”
We Should All Be Feminists by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: This book is so good. And it’s so short (it was originally a TED talk). I think everyone should read it. I agree with a lot of Adichie’s points, and I do think liberal American culture is getting a bit better at (or at least trying to) making men and women equal. For example we’re teaching boys it’s ok to be vulnerable and it’s ok for girls to be strong. But of course we have a long way to go still (leadership positions in all fields need to be 50/50) for a more equitable future. “Culture does not make people. People make culture. If it is true that the full humanity of women is not our culture, then we can and must make it our culture.”
The Family Firm by Emily Oster: I’ve read the other two data-driven parenting books from Oster ( ), and I always enjoy what she has to say. Lucky for me my kid is about a couple years behind her youngest so her research is always timed perfectly for Emi’s developmental stage. This latest book is about how to make decisions that pertain to school-aged children like “when should they start school” (if they’re late born), “where should they go to school, public or private,” “should they do extracurricular activities,” “how to deal with bullying/screen time/summer camps,” and “what age should they get a phone.” Unfortunately these are not easy questions and there’s not a lot of data overall on these kinds of things. Her overarching theme is it depends on your kid and your family. She does help by providing frameworks on how to analyze the question and come up with the best solution for your family, but none of it is groundbreaking tbh.
Decoding the World by Po Bronson and Arvind Gupta: I came to this book because I’ve read Bronson’s other works in the past and found them pretty interesting. Now Bronson is a managing director of a biotech VC company and he wrote this book with its CEO, Gupta. Since my undergrad was in microbiology and genetics, I found this book about the cutting edge of biotech to be particularly fascinating. I was a little annoyed that they didn’t cite any references (I mean if you’re going to talk about a study or a paper, any legit scientist should be noting the reference). So it was a bit difficult for me to buy into everything they were saying. But still it’s been almost 2 decades since I studies this stuff and wow science has come a long way. They talk about the science behind various topics including gene therapy, climate change, robotics, cell-based meat, etc, and it’s all written in a fun colloquial way (without getting too much into the weeds). This book reads like what it is: a book written by two Bay Area biotech bros, but that’s not to say it doesn’t have its interesting points.
Did Not Read
Consider the Lobster by David Foster Wallace: I got two essays in when I gave up. I know he’s supposed to be a great writer but I just couldn’t get into it. All the footnotes with tiny writing at the bottom didn’t help, and it started to feel a bit tedious. TBH I feel like I’ve read enough books from white male authors and there’s so many other books left in my stack (and soon to be due at the library).