So you know I love me those “personal growth” (aka self-help) books. There’s something about learning something from a book that might have the potential to make you a better person that gets me every time. So it’s no wonder that the love of that genre has led me to read quite a few parenting books. Because if we could become better parents by reading a book, why not read it? Also being an only child with only a handful of friends who are parents, I haven’t had much experience in the field so I like to get different perspectives on parenting via books. Anyway here are all the books I’ve read and I’ve organized them into categories according to usefulness/how much I learned/how much I liked them:
{Note: I first wrote this post back in May of 2019 (a couple months after Emi was born) and it has been sitting forgotten in my Drafts folder ever since. Well since I had written the bulk of this post already (the intro above and all the baby book recaps), I decided to publish the post—even though it’s over three years old haha.}
The Books I Liked
On Becoming Babywise: This book was recommended to me by quite a few people and I can see why. For those who have no idea what they’re doing, this book gives you a framework on how to schedule your days around the baby. Specifically, it gives you a schedule for feeding, waketimes, and napping and then how to change that schedule as your baby grows. We were initially pretty strict about her schedule (even waking her up from her naps so that she would stay on schedule—it was a way for us to feel somewhat in control those first chaotic weeks I think). But now we loosely follow it since her sleeping and feeding times fall within the Babywise recommended schedule. This book is so helpful that I still reference it weekly to see what we can expect coming up developmentally and what that means to her schedule. Also I credit this book for helping us get baby to start sleeping through the night at 2 months.
Cribsheet: I never read Emily Oster’s first book (Expecting Better) but I really love this, her second one, which evaluates all the various studies looking at different aspects of bringing up a baby. For example, is breastfeeding scientifically proven through studies to be better than formula (yes, when it comes to .. but no when it comes to…) . As an economist, Sarah not only looks at the results of the studies but evaluates the study design, which is the most important thing about these studies. If your study design is flawed, it doesn’t matter what the results are and what is statistically significant. In general, her book made me feel like I’m making better parenting choices because I’m better informed. Do yourself a favor, and if you’re a mom of a newborn, read it.
Somewhat Helpful Books
Bringing up Bebe: Not so much helpful as it was interesting. Gaining another culture’s perspective on raising a baby, makes you realize some of the quirks of our own culture. For example: many women in Paris don’t breastfeed or if they do it’s only for a short amount of time. But French babies are neither obese and in fact France has a.. Or I like the idea that in France, parents tell their children to wait or pause before picking up a crying child to teach them patience and how to sit with frustration. In Japanese culture there’s a similar idea of gaman, to endure the discomfort or hardship. I was taught gaman from an early age and I think it’s made me a more self-sufficient and resilient person. I hope to teach this to my child as well.
Baby 411: This was a great reference book for first time parents. It’s not one that you read from cover to cover, but if you have a question it’s nice to read a little blurb about it. True, you can also get your information from the internet—but just make sure it sounds like a reputable source.
Pass On These
Happiest Baby on the Block: An in-depth book on the 5S’s to calm a baby: swaddling, side/stomach carrying, shhh noises (white noise), swinging/rocking, and sucking (on a pacifier, boob, finger). Do all 5 at one time to soothe a crying baby. I would categorize this book as borderline helpful for those who’ve never had to deal with a newborn (like myself), but if you don’t have the time to read books this one isn’t that useful. Incidentally the doctor who wrote this book is the one behind the Snoo. So if you can rent/borrow one, then maybe just go with the Snoo and skip the book.
90 minute sleep: Not very helpful except to teach me that babies, like adults have a sleep/wake cycle that typically lasts 90 minutes. So the best time to coax a baby into a nap would be 90 minutes from the time they woke up. If you’re following the Babywise schedule, this pretty much lines up with the 90 minute sleep/wake cycle. So that might be why I didn’t find this book that helpful.
Looking back at these books I remember how it was all about getting Emi to sleep through the night. Though she was very cute I don’t miss those days at all lol. If there’s any interest, I might write a post collating and ranking all the parenting books I’ve read this year. Let me know!